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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Mike 2.0 who wrote (13997)	4/3/2000 2:24:00 PM
From: JBTFD	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62552

Hope this isnt a repeat: An American is having his (coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jam) when a Canadian man, chewing gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Canadian who, nevertheless, starts a conversation. Canadian: "You American folk eat the whole bread?" American (in a bad mood): "Of course." Canadian: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In Canada, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to America." The Canadian has a smirk on his face. The American listens in silence. The Canadian persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??" American: "Of Course." Canadian: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In Canada we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and left overs in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to America." The American then asks: "Do you have sex in Canada?" Canadian: "Why of course we do", the Canadian says with a big smirk. American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?" Canadian: "We throw them away, of course." American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to Canada."

To: Mike 2.0 who wrote (13997)	4/4/2000 8:13:00 AM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62552

This guy went to the zoo one day. While he was standing in front of the gorilla's enclosure, the wind gusted and he got some grit in his eye. As he pulled his eyelid down to dislodge the particle, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless. When the guy came to, the zookeeper was anxiously bending over him, and as soon as he was able to talk, he explained what had happened. The zookeeper nodded and explained that in 'gorilla language', pulling down your eyelid means "Fuck you". This didn't make the gorilla's victim feel any better and he vowed revenge. The next day he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and over to the gorilla's cage, into which he tossed a hat, a knife, and a party horn. Knowing that the big apes were natural mimics, he put on a party hat. The gorilla looked at him, looked at the hat, and put it on. Next he picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla picked up his horn and did the same. Then the man picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out of his pants, and sliced it neatly in two. The gorilla looked at the knife in his cage, looked down at his own pecker, and he... ...pulled down his eyelid.