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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (14012)	4/5/2000 2:27:00 PM
From: Carol Putnam	Respond to of 62549

How Things Change ...... A computer was something on TV From a science fiction show of note. A window was something you hated to clean. And a ram was the cousin of a goat. Meg was the name of someone's girlfirend. And a gig was a job for the nights. Now they all mean different things and that really mega bytes. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was piano. Memory was something that you lost with age. A CD was a bank account. And if you had a 3-in floppy, you hoped nobody found out. Compress was something you did to the garbage, not something you did to a file. And if you unzipped anything in public, you'd be in jail for awhile. Log on was adding wood to the fire. Hard drive was a long trip on the road. A mouse pad was where a mouse lived. And a backup happened to your commode. Cut you did with a pocket knife. Paste you did with glue. A web was a spider's home. And a virus was the flu.

To: Barney who wrote (14012)	4/5/2000 9:25:00 PM
From: Didi	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Good one, Barney. Thx ;-)! <eom>

To: Barney who wrote (14012)	4/7/2000
From: Rainy_Day_Woman	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

groan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There once was a successful rancher who died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch and make a go of it, but she knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place and ad in the newspaper for ranch hands. Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other was a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied, she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He turned out to be a fantastic worker, worked long hard hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks the two of them worked, and the ranch was really doing well. Then one day the rancher's wife said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job and we've both done nothing but work for weeks. The ranch looks great, and I'm taking off Saturday night and going into town to kick up my heels and paint the town red, and I think you should do the same." The hired hand agreed readily, and on Saturday night each went into town. The ranchers wife had dinner with friends, and talked and joked and danced, and had a great time, getting home about midnight. The hired hand wasn't home yet so she decided to wait up for him. One o'clock and no hired hand yet. Two o'clock and no hired hand, and she began to worry. At two thirty, in came the hired hand. The rancher's wife was sitting buy the fireplace and called him over By her. "Now, I'm your boss," she said, "and you're supposed to do what I tell you, right?" "Well......yes," he answered. "Then unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. He did as she asked. "Now take off my boots." He did. "Now take off my socks." He did. "Now take off my skirt." He did. "Now take off my bra." "Now take off my panties." And again he did what she told him. Then she looked at him and said, "Don't ever wear my clothes to town again."