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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (14031)	4/8/2000 1:23:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 62549

I guess this means it's past my bedtime and I have to go now. :=(

To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (14031)	4/8/2000 1:36:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 62549

This is more sentimental....but it sez a lot in itself. A nice story for all to read. The Rose, author unknown The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, "Hi, Handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty seven years old. May I give you a hug?" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze. "Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked. She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel!" "No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this college challenge at her age." "I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me. After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experiences with me. Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up. At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet, and I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five notecards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed, she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent, and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order in month of Sundays so let me just tell you what I know." As we laughed, she cleared her throat and began: "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are really only four secrets that I know of to staying young, being happy, and achieving whatever you regard as "success" in your life. . ." "You have to laugh and find humor every day." "You've got to have a dream, too. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!" "There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty eight. Anybody can grow older, you see. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change." "Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for the things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets." She concluded her speech by courageously singing the song, "The Rose." She challenged each of us to study the lyrics to this song and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be!

To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (14031)	4/8/2000 6:18:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Rules for Frequent Flying: 1. No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight. 2. If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal. 3. If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed. 4. Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world. 5. If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper. Or start to drink your coffee. 6. If you are assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the seats on the aisle and the window while you are still in the boarding area. Just find the two largest passengers. 7. Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the lavatory. 8. The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you. 9. The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard.