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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (14249)	5/7/2000 10:34:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62562

President Clinton was looking for a call girl and he found three such ladies in a local bar: a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. To the blonde he said, "I am the President of the United States of America. How much will it cost me to spend some time with you?" The blonde replied, "For you, Mr. President, it will cost $500." To the redhead, he asked the same question. She replied, "I will spend all the time you want for $1,000." When he approached the brunette, he asked the same question and she said: "If you can raise my skirt as high as you've raised my taxes, and can get your pants as low as my wages, and get that thing of yours as hard as times are now, and screw me as well as you do the public, believe me, it won't cost you a damn thing!"

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (14249)	5/7/2000 10:39:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62562

I met this gal in a bar and one thing led to another, so I said to her, "Let's go back to my place." She asked, "Oh, do you have cable?" I replied, "No, but I do have some old ropes and they should do just fine."

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (14249)	5/7/2000 10:44:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62562

A business woman is sitting at a bar when a man approaches her. "Hi, honey," he says, "Want a little company?" "Why?" asks the woman. "Do you have one to sell?"

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (14249)	5/7/2000 10:49:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62562

HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING... One morning a boy got up and was leaving the house with a handful of chicken wire. His father said, 'Son, where are you going?' The son replied, 'I'm going to catch me some chickens.' The father said, 'Son, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire.' But the son insisted that he knew what he was doing. Later on that day, the son came home with two chickens in his hand. The father thought, 'I guess he knows what he's doing.' The next morning, the son got up and was leaving the house with some duck tape. The father said, 'Son, where are you going?' The son replied, 'I'm going to catch some ducks.' The father yelled, 'You can't catch ducks with duck tape!' The son insisted that he knew what he was doing. Later on that day the son came home with two ducks under each arm. The father thought, 'Shoot, I guess he DOES know what he's doing!!' The next morning the son got up and was leaving the house with a handful of pussywillows. The father said, 'Hold up, son, let me put on my shoes!'