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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: E who wrote (14271)	5/3/2000 9:48:00 PM
From: sandintoes	Respond to of 62562

The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. "It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor. As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air. "Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes." "Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation and impatience. After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the instructor?"

To: E who wrote (14271)	5/7/2000 10:24:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62562

A MOTHER'S DAY SAMPLER > >PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, > >young man. Midnight is past your curfew!" > > > >MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY'S MOTHER: "I don't mind you having a garden, > >Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?" > > > >MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on > >braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?" > > > >HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: "Humpty, If I've told you once, I've told you a > >hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!" > > > >COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You > >still could have written!" > > > >BABE RUTH'S MOTHER: "Babe, how many times have I told you -- quit > >playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!" > > > >MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other > >children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off > >the ceiling?" > > > >NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your > >report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and > >prove it!" > > > >CUSTER'S MOTHER: "Now, George, remember what I told you -- don't go > >biting off more than you can chew!" > > > >ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you > >just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?" > > > >BARNEY'S MOTHER: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, > >but you're starting to look a little purple." > > > >MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, > >Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you." > > > >BATMAN'S MOTHER: "It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much > >the insurance is going to be?" > > > >GOLDILOCKS' MOTHER: "I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the > >Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?" > > > >LITTLE MISS MUFFET'S MOTHER: "Well, all I've got to say is if you don't > >get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more > >spiders around here!" > > > >ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't > >you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?" > > > >GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money > >across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!" > > > >JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've > >really been for the last three days." > > > >SUPERMAN'S MOTHER: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and > >we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit > >spending so much time in all those phone booths?" > > > >THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the > >electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!" >