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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Phil(bullrider) who wrote (14512)	5/13/2000 3:44:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62569

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer's down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week. but you can't go back as humans. What'll it be?" The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains." "So be it," says St. Peter and off flies the first priest. The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week 'count', St. Peter?" "No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing. The week's a freebie." "In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud." "So be it," says St. Peter and the second priest disappears. A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks. "The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult." "Why?" asketh the Lord. St. Peter answered, "He's on a snow tire somewhere in Alaska."

To: Phil(bullrider) who wrote (14512)	5/13/2000 2:58:00 PM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62569

Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb? A1: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself. A2: None. If it really needed changing, market forces would have caused it to happen. A3: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in. A4. None. "There is no need to change the light bulb. All the conditions for illumination are in place. A5. None, because, look! It's getting brighter! It's definitely getting brighter !!! A5. None; they're all waiting for the unseen hand of the market to correct the lighting disequilibrium. Q: How many Wharton MBAs does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, if you hire me. I can actually change the light bulb by myself. As you can see from my resume, I've had extensive experience changing light bulbs in my previous positions. I've also been named to the Wharton Light Bulb list, and am presently a teaching assistant for Light Bulb Management 666. My only weakness is that I'm compulsive about changing light bulbs in my spare time. Q: How many B-school doctoral students does it take to change a light bulb? A: I'm writing my dissertation on that topic; I should have an answer for you in about five years. Q: How many investors does it take to change a light bulb? A: None - the market has already discounted the change. Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None - the bulb contains within it the seeds of its own revolution.

To: Phil(bullrider) who wrote (14512)	5/13/2000 3:01:00 PM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62569

One day a woman went for a walk in her neighborhood and came across a boy with some puppies. "Would you like a puppy? They aren't ready for new homes quite yet, but they will be in a few weeks!" "Oh, they're adorable," the lady said. "What kind of dogs are they?" "These are economists." "OK. I'll tell my husband." So she went home and told her husband. He was very interested to see the puppies. About a week later he came across the lad; the puppies were very active. "Hey, Mister. Want a puppy?" "I think my wife spoke with you last week. What kind of dogs are these?" "Oh. These are decision analysts." "I thought you said last week that they were economists." "Yeah, but they've opened their eyes since then."