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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (14625)	5/15/2000 4:48:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62549

Things NOT to say during sex: - But everybody looks funny naked! - Person 1: This is your first time..right? Person 2: Yeah.. today - ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ - On second thought, let's turn off the lights. - I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs! - I think you have it on backwards. - When is this supposed to feel good? - I wish we got the Playboy channel... - But my cat always sleeps on that pillow.. - Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed? - It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate! - This would be more fun with a few more people.. - You're almost as good as my ex! - You look younger than you feel. - Now I know why he dumped you... - I have a confession... - I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home! - Hic! I need another beer for this please. - Have you seen "Fatal Attraction"? - Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names. - Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper... - Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise...

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (14625)	5/15/2000 4:49:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62549

A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague who is about to have a heart transplant. She's worried about the friend so she asks the doctor: Girlfriend: I'm worried about my friend doc, what if her body rejects the organ? Doctor: Well, she's 36 years old and healthy. How long has she been in business? Girlfriend: She's been working since she was 19 years old but what does that have to do with anything? Doctor: Well, she's been working 17 years and hasn't rejected an organ yet!

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (14625)	5/15/2000 4:51:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62549

Little Johnny wakes up in the middle of the night and goes into his parents' bedroom where he catches them going at it. He thinks his father is hurting the mother and starts to cry. His father has a talk with Johnny and explains that he is just planting a seed so they can make him a baby brother. Johnny goes happily back to bed. The next evening, the father comes home from work and sees Johnny sitting on the curb crying. He asks what is wrong, and Johnny says, "Remember last night you and mommy were making me a baby brother? Well today the mailman came and ate him."

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (14625)	5/15/2000 4:53:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62549

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man so he hired a famous Chinese detective, Ram Pam Sim Wimm, to watch and report any activities that night. Most honorable sir: You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she get on train. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree - look in window. He kiss she. She kiss he. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. Fall out of tree, not see. NO FEE.

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (14625)	5/15/2000 4:57:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

A masked man walks into a sperm bank, points a gun at the woman behind the counter, and shouts, "Open the safe!" "But this is not a real bank," the woman replies. "It's a sperm bank." "Open the safe, or I'll shoot!" the man shouts. The woman, now terrified, opens the safe. "Now, take one of the bottles and drink it," he says. "But, sir, these are sperm samples!" the woman replies. "Just drink it or I'll shoot!" The woman opens the bottle and drinks the lot. "Now, take another bottle and drink it!" "But, sir, I just drank one!" "Drink another one, or I'll shoot you!" The woman has no alternative and drinks a second bottle. When she has emptied it, the man takes off his mask and the woman is surprised to see the culprit is her husband. "See, honey," he says, "That wasn't so difficult, now was it?