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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (14641)	5/15/2000 10:19:00 PM
From: Ian@SI	Respond to of 62549

> > > TENDJEWBERRYMUD > > > > > > It's amazing, you will understand the above word by the end of the > > > conversation...... > > > Read aloud for best results. "Tendjewberrymud" > > > Be warned, you're going to find yourself talking "funny" for a while > > > after reading this. This has been nominated for best email of 1999. > > > The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and > > > room-service at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in > > > the Far East Economic Review..... > > > > > > Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees" > > > Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service" > > > RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??" > > > G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs" > > > RS: "Ow July den?" > > > G: "What??" > > > RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?" > > > G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please." > > > RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?" > > > G: "Crisp will be fine." > > > RS : "Hokay. An San tos?" > > > G: "What?" > > > RS:"San tos. July San tos?" > > > G: "I don't think so" > > > RS: "No? Judo one toes??" > > > G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one > > > toes' means." > > > RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping > > > we > > > bother?" > > > G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. > > > Yes, an English muffin will be fine." > > > RS: "We bother?" > > > G: "No..just put the bother on the side." > > > RS: "Wad?" > > > G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side." > > > RS: "Copy?" > > > G: "Sorry?" > > > RS: "Copy...tea...mill?" > > > G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all." > > > RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease > > > baychem,tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and > > > copy....rye??" > > > G: "Whatever you say" > > > RS: "Tendjewberrymud" > > > G : "You're welcome" > > > > > > My answer was, "Funniess dahm ting I heerin mos. >>

To: Karen Lawrence who wrote (14641)	5/16/2000 1:40:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62549

> There was a Scottish tradesman, a painter called Jock, who was very > > interested in making a pound where he could. So he often would thin > > down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. > > As it happened, he got away with this for some time. Eventually the > > Presbyterian Church decided to do a big restoration job on the roof of > > one of their biggest churches. Jock put in a bid and because his price > > was so competitive, he got the job. > > And so he set to, with a right good will, erecting the trestles and > > putting up the planks, and buying the paint and... yes, I am sorry to > > say, thinning it down with the turpentine. > > Well, Jock was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly > > done, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder. The sky > > opened and the rain poured down, washing the thin paint from all over > > the church and knocking Jock fair off the scaffold to land on the lawn, > > among the graves covered with paint. > > Jock was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he > > fell on his knees and cried: "Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?" > > And from the thunder, a mighty Voice spoke.... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (Wait for it...) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (Are you ready?) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > (Here it comes...) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "Repaint! Repaint and thin no more!"