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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (14677)	5/20/2000 10:48:00 AM
From: John Carragher	Respond to of 62567

Subject: Deep Thoughts I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me . They were cramming for their finals. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do? Write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail? How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there? If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for? Clones are people two. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? So what's the speed of dark? Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. Think "honk" if you're telepathic. I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time." How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been dissing them anyhow? After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water? Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food? If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in? Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it? How come abbreviated is such a long word? If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?