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Pastimes : Another Good Reason Not To Be Married -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: MSB who wrote (6291)5/20/2000 5:10:00 AM
From: Edwarda  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 6545
 
Hi, Mike! Actually, this is an equal opportunity thread. Len and I had our first encounter on this thread when I suggested that his jaundiced viewpoint might be simply reflective of a poor selection process. LOL, in return, he suggested that I might be psychotic; thus began a great friendship!

I was married for 10 years. It ended unhappily, but I'd marry again if I felt the same sense of joyous conviction--not meaning that the person has to be "perfect" but is a good partner for life for me and I for him.

A couple of years ago, I thought seriously of marrying a lovely man I had known for many, many years as a friend and professional colleague and then as someone more close and important. He's a brilliant man; he has a marvelous sense of humor and fun; he's extraordinarily physically attractive and we are sexually compatible and enjoyed each other so very much. And our minds, which are different, found a common ground upon which we could waltz.

The affair ended for a very good reason, the best of reasons, and I have no regret about its ending. We remain friends--far better and more thoughtful friends for what we learned about each other while we were lovers; the respect and the caring will continue all our lives.

If things had been different, would we have married? I don't know. It is one of the questions that are lost in the sweep of time.

Would the union have been happy? There is no unalloyed happiness, no Prince or Princess Charming. We quarrelled as lovers and I don't think that we had illusions about each other. Again, time and the road not taken have the answers to this question.

I do know that our friendship has benefitted from the added closeness and that I'd work with him professionally at the first opportunity, based not only on his mind and talent but also on the added respect we now have for each other and what we have learned about our complementarity.

I am currently deeply involved in a relationship that does not have a "future." To the people who say, "You're avoiding commitment," I say "Piffle." To walk away from deep love because a wedding ring is not included in the deal can be a very foolish thing to do, IMO.

Looking back, I can see that I have been rambling a bit. What all of it coalesces to is, I have been loving and thinking about love and marriage for a very long time. (Eek, the first person I dated is still a close friend!)

We are all at times on this thread and on its mirror, which you so aptly dubbed, "I'd rather be married." Who can fully describe the joy of going to sleep holding the person whom you treasure above all others, the person with whom you have just had wonderful love making, and whose beloved face is the first thing you will see in the morning?

Equally, who can describe fully the urge to strangle the same beloved person over squeezing the toothpaste tube in the middle or leaving the toilet seat up? Or drinking too much or not taking out the garbage or getting work-related faxes at 2 a.m.? LOL!

Loving is like this. It is certainly not Segal's sugary, "Love is never having to say you're sorry." Barf. It's saying you are sorry when you are not sure that you are, but the anger has ebbed enough to make the gesture, carefully worded. ;-)

Love is not murdering your beloved, despite all provocation.

BTW, does your wife notice that I am a woman? LOL, on most of the stock threads, it seems to be a shock. Women don't understand valuation and numbers, LOL? They think I am Edward A.

FOFLMAO!



To: MSB who wrote (6291)5/20/2000 9:46:00 AM
From: Volsi Mimir  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 6545
 
Actually the negative aspects were about fooling around, cheating, those sordid affairs that begin with lust.
There's great excitement to sneaking forbidden candy into a stable diet.I didn't want to be the cheerleader encouraging just in case some were out there thinking about getting their first piece.<---- food metaphors (stale double-entendre),can't keep them out of my mind, I'm just into honing my culinary skills lately.
I married foolishly--and got just what it deserved.

Here's the link to the poem from a while ago you wrote-

Message 1274259

If you gave it a title later or redid it- would you post it here. Thanks.