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Technology Stocks : Rambus (RMBS) - Eagle or Penguin -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: pompsander who wrote (43305)	6/2/2000 2:59:00 PM
From: pompsander	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 93625

OTOOTOTOTOTOTO, but good for a laugh. Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this was included with the product information. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!!!!!! Thanks, A Troubled User. REPLY: Dear Troubled User: This is a very common problem that men complain about. It is due to a primary misconception among men. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is merely a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by it's creator to run everything! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating systems files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Some have tried Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than in the original system. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under "Warnings--Alimony/Child Support." I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application Yes Dear to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest that you read the entire section regarding "General Partnership Faults (GPF?s)." You must assume all responsibility for any faults and problems that occur, regardless of their cause. You will also find that GPF?s are cyclical. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. Avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Remember the system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all GPF's. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 (which replaces Burn It 1.0), and Do Bills 4.2. You must, however, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 should this happen. WARNING!!!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system. Best of luck, Tech Support

To: pompsander who wrote (43305)	6/2/2000 3:41:00 PM
From: Dave B	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 93625

Pomp, LOL! There's enough of us around without more of you jumping on the bandwagon. There's a Dr. David Burns (a psychiatrist, I think) a mile up the street who publishes books, speaks at conferences, and so on. I can't tell you how many messages I get from people wanting me to speak at their conferences (all paid for). Of course, I accept the ones in Hawaii, the Bahamas, etc. <G> Dave