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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (14855)	6/5/2000 2:33:00 AM
From: Canuck Dave	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62552

Three nuns are instantly killed in a terrible car accident. They appear at the pearly gates only to be informed by St. Peter that there are new regulations in place. Even those who have lived a pure and exemplary life must now answer a skill testing question to gain admittance to paradise. Sister Agatha, being the boldest, finally steps forward to receive her question. "Who was the first man on earth?" "Why that's easy", she says, "It was Adam." "Right you are", says St Peter. "Enter Heaven." Sister Bertha, now emboldened steps forward." "Who was the first woman on earth?" "Why, Eve." "Of course. Right again. Off you go." Sister Clara, now relaxed, steps forward for her question. "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" Sister Clara is alarmed. She hasn't a clue. "Oooohhh, that's a hard one!", she says. "That is correct!!! Off to heaven you go." CD

To: Barney who wrote (14855)	6/5/2000 8:55:00 AM
From: John Carragher	Respond to of 62552

It's a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), grunting and pounding his chest with the free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom, and play along. She does and Mr Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall; she does, and Mr Gorilla is just about to tear the bars down. "Now try lifting your dress up your thighs." This drives the gorilla absolutely crazy. Then, quickly, the husband grabs his wife, rips open the door to the cage, slings her in with the gorilla and says, "Now, tell HIM you have a headache."