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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Edwarda who wrote (14897)6/7/2000 9:18:00 PM
From: sandintoes  Respond to of 62550
 
A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed.

When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles following her. She shot up to 90 miles. The next time she looked around, there were three cops following her.>

Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She screeched to a stop and ran into the ladies' room. Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out.

The three cops were standing there waiting for her. Without batting an eye, she said coyly, "I'll bet none of you thought I would make it."



To: Edwarda who wrote (14897)6/9/2000 12:55:00 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis  Respond to of 62550
 
Cadillac man
------------
A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York
to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he
decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up. About 15
minutes later, he spots a Mobil station and pulls over to the high
octane pump.

"What can I do for y'all?" asks the attendant.

"Fill 'er up with high test," replies the driver.

While the attendant is filling up the tank, he's looking the car up and
down. "What kinda car is this?" he asks. "I never seen one like it
before."

"Well," responds the driver, his chest swelling up with pride, "this, my
boy is a 1999 Cadillac DeVille."

"What all's it got in it?" asks the attendant.

"Well," says the driver, "it has everything. It's loaded with power
steering, power seats, power sun roof, power mirrors, AM/FM radio with a
10 deck CD player in the trunk with 100 watts per channel, 8 speaker
stereo, rack and pinion
steering, disk brakes all around, leather interior, digital instrument
package, and best of all, a 8.8 liter V12 engine."

"Wow," says the attendant, "that's really something!"

"How much do I owe you for the gasoline?" asks the driver.

"That'll be $30.17," says the attendant.

The driver pulls out his money clip and peels off a $20 and a $10. He
goes into his other pocket and pulls out a handful of
change. Mixed up with the change are a few golf tees.

"What are those little wooden things?" asks the attendant.

"That's what I put my balls on when I drive," says the driver.

"Wow," says the attendant, "those Cadillac people think of everything!"