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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Elmer Flugum who wrote (15024)	6/17/2000 10:30:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 62549

A couple comes up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish, and throws in a penny. His wife decides to make a wish, too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well, and drowns. The guy says, "Holy Shit! It really works!" ----------------------------------------------------------- Judi went to Sherry's place to tell her about a horrible experience she had the previous night with this guy she took home. Sherry asked "Well, what happened when you got there?" Judi said, "After sex the S.O.B. called me a slut!" "What did you do then?" Sherry asked, somewhat shocked. Judi said "I told him to get the hell out of my bedroom, and take his eight friends with him!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Bubba was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen. One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the TV. "Hey!" Bubba shouted. "What do you think you are doing?!" "I'm sick of sports, I'm sick of TV," Verniece replied. "You haven't touched me in months. We're going to talk about sex right now!" "OK, OK.... So," he asked after a moment, "how often do you think Brett Favre gets laid?"

To: Elmer Flugum who wrote (15024)	6/17/2000 10:33:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 62549

A blond suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her. She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blond is angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and points to her head. The boyfriend yells "No, honey, don't do it." The blond replies "Shut up, you're next!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A Polish student was asked to list the 10 Commandments in any order. His answer? "3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7". ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I'm not saying she was ugly, but... When she went camping, the bears built a fire to keep her away. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ My wife wanted to renew our vows and I told her I don't want to make the same mistake twice. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Practice safe sex, go screw yourself.