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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (15148)	6/25/2000 12:59:00 PM
From: John Messbauer	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62568

Guy goes to a doctor and says he has a problem with sex. "I think my dick is too small" he says. The doctor asks him which drink he prefers. "Well, Lager" he replies quite bemused. "Aaaahhh. There's your problem, It shrinks things those Lagers. You should try drinking Guinness. That makes things grow." Two months later the chap returns to the doctor with a big smile on his face. He shakes the doctor by the hand and thanks him. "I take it you now drink Guinness?" asked the doc. "No", replies the man "but I've got the wife on Lager!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic weekend vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!" She says, "Well put them here between my legs and that will warm them up." After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, "Man! My hands are really freezing!" She says again, "Well put them here between my legs and that will warm them up." He does, and again that warms him up. After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop wood for the night. When he returns, he again says, "Honey, my hands are really freezing!" She looks at him and says, "For crying out loud,... don't your ears ever get cold?!?!?"

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (15148)	7/2/2000 10:11:50 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 62568

And Moses looked upon the Lord and said: "We are your chosen people and you want us to cut the tips off our WHAT?!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A young lad is caught stealing soap from the local soap factory, when the case comes to caught the judge decides to make an example of him to discourage other youths from a life of crime. Judge: Well, what have you to say in your defense? Boy: I'm sorry your honor. Judge: I sentence you to 10 years hard labor, starting immediately. Boy: But sir, it were only a few bars of cheap soap. Judge: Consider yourself lucky... it could have been life boy!