To: re3 who wrote (105501 ) 6/26/2000 2:22:00 PM From: Glenn D. Rudolph Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 164684
This is not a real story Amazon.com Says Not Running Out of Cash - Makes a Stunning Announcement. PALO ALTO, Calif. (Roiters) - Internet retailer Amazon.com Inc. (NasdaqNM:AMZN), responding to negative research on the company, said on Friday that it was ``nowhere near running out of cash or clever ways of fooling investors.'' The comment came largely in response to a report from a Lehman Brothers credit analyst who described Amazon's credit as ''worse than that of my unemployed brother in law.'' Lehman urged in the report that investors avoid the convertible bonds like the plague. "From a bond perspective, we find the credit extremely weak and deteriorating,'' Lehman said, warning that Amazon.com risks running out of cash by the middle of 2001. Amazon.com spokesman Bill Curry called the comments ''absolute, pure unadulterated hogwash.'' "We are nowhere near running out of cash,'' Curry said while smirking. ''Anyone who understands the cash flow dynamics of this business knows this. And anyway, how can you trust Lehman? They're just a bunch of weirdoes. '' Curry noted that the company ended the first quarter with more than $1 billion in cash, and expects to become cash flow positive later this year, the year after that, or perhaps a decade from now. He declined to speculate whether the company would need to raise additional cash before it became profitable. However, he did say it was time to announce Amazon.com's latest move in "Improving the customer experience." Curry pointed out that one thing that people like to have while flying is something good to read. "Why not combine book retailing with air transport?" Though a tightly held secret until today, Curry reported that Jeff Bezos decided that in the face of adverse analyst opinions, it was time to unveil the next step in Amazon's growth plans. The company will compete with Boeing and Airbus Industrie by manufacturing the biggest passenger jet in the world. With a seating capacity of 1,300 (double or triple that of existing or planned jumbo jets), an inside-the-plane Internet server farm, and a flying warehouse stocked with ten thousand bestselling books, the aircraft promises to be all things to all people. Not only will passengers be able to order a novel and have it delivered to their assigned seat, but since the aircraft design includes a bomb bay, it will allow books to be parachuted to customers living below the flight path. "This will eliminate fulfillment costs in a single stroke," enthused Curry. The spokesman added that due to Amazon.com's proximity to Boeing, recruiting aerospace engineers should not be a problem. When asked about the scope of the project, Curry said that the company will go ahead and manufacture hundreds of jets even if no carriers submit orders. "We're probably going to end up flying them, so we envision the exciting prospect of running our own airline," he gushed. If that happens, the company has plans to simultaneously expand into the hotel and rent-a-car business. Bezos is said to have remarked, "We should always take the opportunity to use our high name recognition as a means of entering other areas of commerce. Personally, I see no limits. This sort of tomfoolery allows us to keep on dangling a bigger carrot at the end of an ever-lengthening stick. The investment community can't get enough of it." Reached later for comment, Internet analyst Henry Blodget did a quick back-of-the-envelope calculation and pronounced the stock "even more of a buy than when I issued that ridiculous price target 18 months ago." He added that investors should not worry, "I still expect to get my million dollar bonus this year, but thanks for expressing concern." Mary Meeker, who issued positive statements about the stock on June 2, only to see it fall in value 42% over the next fifteen trading days, did not return reporters' phone calls. A spokesman at Morgan Stanley hinted that she spent most of the day "looking for a time-machine." ABOUT THE COMPANY Amazon.com is an online retailer that offers for sale millions of items in categories such as books, music, toys, electronics, software, home improvement products, garden supplies, and collectibles. It is expected to broaden the available merchandise and services to include clothing, automobiles (new and pre-owned), colorful pi¤atas, haircuts, orthodontia, ballet lessons, and pest control. This will be accomplished through complex interlocking financial agreements with firms that are desperate for web traffic.