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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Susan G who wrote (15181)	6/28/2000 10:41:00 PM
From: sandintoes	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62567

Subject: Darned Good Quotes. "Ah, yes, divorce......., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." --- Robin Williams "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!' " ---Dave Barry "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." --- Lewis Grizzard "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong houses." --- Jeff Foxworthy "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." --- Robin Williams "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base." --- Dave Barry "My mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'" ---Paula Poundstone A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh." ---Conan O'Brien "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner." --- Lynda Montgomery "I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'" ---Richard Jeni "If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." ---Johnny Carson "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography." ---Paul Rodriguez "Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." ---Oscar Wilde "Suppose you were an idiot... And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself." --- Mark Twain