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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: nohalo who wrote (15297)	7/11/2000 9:29:59 PM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62567

Be Creative! Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office. . . "What is the meaning of this?" the director asked. "When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you've ever held." "Yes...," the young man replied, "And in your advertisement for the position you clearly stated you wanted somebody with imagination."

To: nohalo who wrote (15297)	7/20/2000 7:58:23 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 62567

Q. How do you convert a dishwasher into a snowblower ? A. Give the bitch a shovel. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A man was walking down the street when he bumped into a construction worker. They get into a conversation and the man asks him what he would do if they only had 5 minutes to live. "Well, I haven't lived a very passionate life, so I suppose I'd screw anything that moved." he answered. "What would you do?" "I'd stand perfectly still." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ It seems this guy had been experimenting with an unusual method of seeking autoerotic gratification; namely, inserting a live fish into his butt. What he hadn't counted on was the fish's scales acting, in effect, like one of those sets of driveway spikes that allow you to drive over them one way but puncture your tires if you try to go the other way. In his pain and panic, he dialed 9-1-1. The EMT arrived, surveyed the situation, and said, "Son, you gotta learn to chew your food better."