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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Carragher who wrote (15354)	7/19/2000 8:26:03 AM
From: MrsNose	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

> SAUCER > > A famous art collector is walking through the city when he > notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway > of a store and he does a double take. > > He knows that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, > so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat > for two dollars. > > The store owner replies, "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale. > > The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the > house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat." > > And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat. > > The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder > if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and > it'll save me from having to get a dish." > > And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. > So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."

To: John Carragher who wrote (15354)	7/20/2000 8:18:24 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 62549

It is a scientific fact that 50% of people masturbate in the shower while the other half sing. Do you know what song they sing ? Well, I guess that tells us what you do in the shower. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ So Dan Rather is interviewing Monica and said, "Monica, this trouble will pass and you're still young and have a future in front of you. What would you like to do with the rest of your life?" Monica said, "Well, Dan, I have thought of going back to school." Dan said, "That is a great idea. What would you like to be?" Monica said, "I would like to be a doctor." Dan laughed and said, "You can never be a doctor. You sucked as an intern." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Two women were discussing their sex lives. Mrs Perfesser complained to Rotunda: "I can't take it any more. Every time the old perfesser shoots his load, he screams and shouts, then dances around the bedroom naked, singing 'Dixie'.""What's wrong with that?" asked Rotunda. Mrs Perfesser replied, "Well, for a start, he keeps waking me up!"