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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Dale Knipschield who wrote (15364)	7/20/2000 12:27:20 AM
From: GROUND ZERO™	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62567

IDIOTS AT WORK: Several years ago, there was a secretary intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to another secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies. ~~~~~~~~~~~ A large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruisecontrol" and then went in the back to make a sandwich. Go figure... GZ

To: Dale Knipschield who wrote (15364)	7/20/2000 8:21:20 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 62567

Rich wasn't too happy with his doctor's recommendation to cure his constant fatigue. "You want me to give up sex completely, Doc?" he cried. "I'm a young guy. I'm in the prime of my life. My sex drive couldn't be stronger! How do you expect me to give up sex and go cold turkey?" "Well," replied the doctor, "you could get married and taper off gradually." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A man lost both ears in an accident. No plastic surgeon could offer him a solution. He heard of a very good one in Sweden, and went to him.The new surgeon examined him, thought a while, and said: " Yes, I can put you right." After the operation, bandages off, stitches out, he goes to his hotel. The morning after, in a rage, he calls his surgeon, and yells: "You bastard, you gave me a woman's ears." "Well, an ear is an ear, it makes no difference whether it is a man's or a woman's." "You're wrong, I hear everything, but I don't understand a thing!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A Texas cowboy and his bride ask the hotel desk clerk for a room, telling him they just got married that morning. "Congratulations!" says the clerk. Looking at the cowboy, he asks, "Would you like the bridal then?" "Naw, thanks," says the cowboy. "I reckon I'll just hold her by the ears 'til she gets the hang of it."