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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: sandintoes who wrote (15408)	7/25/2000 1:22:37 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62554

How do you keep a blonde busy for hours? > Scroll down....... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Scroll up!

To: sandintoes who wrote (15408)	7/25/2000 11:59:44 AM
From: Mike 2.0	Respond to of 62554

Re: (32) "I don't know about you but if they raise the price of coffee to 15 cents, I'll just have to drink mine at home." The price of a cup of coffee is a good quick indicator of the economy...reminds me of an old Dan Quayle joke...righties with easily bruised egos may substitute Clinton for Bush and Gore for Quayle... The joke has George Bush, still President, suffers some sort of accident and is incapacitated for six months. He recovers fully, and is eager to be briefed by Acting-President Quayle how things went the last six months. Quayle, beaming with excitement, tells Bush that foreign affairs have never been better, unemployment is down and the economy is sound. "That's great!" Bush said. "Well, tell me this: how much is a cup of coffee now?" "Just 300 yen!" answered Quayle with pride.

To: sandintoes who wrote (15408)	7/25/2000 8:56:52 PM
From: John Messbauer	Respond to of 62554

"Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore. "Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do." The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on." The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Manny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny just bounced from one relationship to the next. Finally a friend asked him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you THAT particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?" "No," Manny replied. "I meet a lot of nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!" "Listen," his friend suggested, "Why don't you find a girl who's just like your dear ole Mother?" Many weeks past before Manny and his friend got together again. "So Manny. Did you find the perfect girl yet. One that's just like your Mother?" Manny shrugged his shoulders, "Yes I found one just like Mom. My mother loved her, they became great friends." "Excellent!!! So,.... Are you and this girl engaged, yet?" "I'm afraid not. My Father can't stand her!"