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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Rick Julian who wrote (84786)8/3/2000 9:52:49 PM
From: Rambi  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 108807
 
Well, perhaps I am too close to too many families destroyed by people deciding that their dreams were more important than the unit created by marriage and the bearing of children. Somewhere in there, you seemed to make the assumption that this person went after his (or her) own dream while somehow still maintaining his commitment to the unit, and what I have viewed among my acquaintances is often the sacrificing of the overall health of the unit to meet the individuals desires.

The devastation left behind is incredibly painful-- for all but the one who is off busy "living". It has nothing to do with SUVs or private schools. Nor does it have anything to do, really, with creative or altruistic actions.

This is a very different thing than the actions of a Rosa Parks or a Karen Silkwood- who probably suffered from fear and doubt, but believed in the rightness of what they had to do. Their actions are more an assumption of additional responsibility than an abdication of it.

I think people get very, very confused about this. And those who proclaim the rightness and joy of damning torpedoes, may find what they meant is completely misinterpreted by people looking for reasons to justify what is, in the end, only selfishness.
It's not always necessary to create tsunamis to live life with integrity and courage or to cause change.



To: Rick Julian who wrote (84786)8/3/2000 10:10:42 PM
From: Dayuhan  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 108807
 
I've tried it both ways. I've tried to raise children on a pittance while pursuing a dream that was, in retrospect, largely masturbatory. And I've tried doing what I'm doing now, doing work for which I have no special affection, but which allows me to work at home and allows my family to enjoy the same kind of comforts and opportunities that other people worked their butts off to provide for me when I was young. The household is a much happier one now.

I cannot imagine looking my son in the eye, as he reached an age to apply for colleges, and telling him that his choices were limited because he had been forced to attend second-rate elementary and high schools. I cannot imagine telling him that his life's options would be limited because my dream was more important than his future. So I spend large sums to send him to the best school I could find. He loves it, and he's happy there. That alone makes it worth every cent. That's not just a material trapping. That's life.

Don't get me wrong - if he decides he doesn't want to college at all, that's fine. But my job is to be sure that as many options as possible are open to him.

Putting your life on the line in order to do the right thing is often not dramatic.

Very few of us can pursue our dreams and still earn enough to do the right thing for our families. That doesn't mean we're living life halfway, or even necessarily being conservative. Some of us even find that our dreams change as we do, and that the changes are for the better.



To: Rick Julian who wrote (84786)8/4/2000 12:54:54 AM
From: Neocon  Respond to of 108807
 
The character I referred to worked on an assembly line as a welder. He would not have lost a few meals at a fancy restaurant, SUV payments, or tuition to private school, but, very likely, his house. He lived in a town that had few jobs outside the local factory, so he would probably have had to uproot his kids to find work. What world do you live in? Most people don't have a lot of leeway, they live from paycheck to paycheck, go heavily into debt, and mainly have their pension, and perhaps a college fund for their kids, as savings............