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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: MrsNose who wrote (15568)	8/6/2000 11:21:41 AM
From: MrsNose	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62555

> > ==================================== > > A man in his 40's bought a new BMW and was out on the > > interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze > > was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to > > open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw > > flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they > > can catch a BMW," he thought to himself and opened her up > > further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit > > him. "What the hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. > > > > The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and > > examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my > > shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if > > you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard > > before, you can go." The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last > > week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give > > her back." > > "Have a nice weekend," said the officer > > > > ====================================== > > > > ====================================== > > A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with > > a sign that reads: "For Women Only". Since they are without their > > boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very > > attractive guy, explains to them how it works. > > > > "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are > > looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has > > a sign telling you what's inside." > > > > So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: " All the > > men here have it short and thin." The friends laugh and without hesitation > > move on to the next floor. > > > > The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here have it long and > > thin." Still, this isn't good enough so the friends continue on up. > > > > They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here have it > > short and thick." > > > > They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors > > left, they continued on up. > > > > On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here have it long > > and thick." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize > that > > there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head > > on up to the fifth floor. > > > > There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was > > built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman." > >