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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: PMS Witch who wrote (15597)	8/8/2000 9:20:59 AM
From: Mike 2.0	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Ruminations on brats, parents & elders...then a FUNNY Top 16 list! Bratty kids and dumb parents are a problem...but not the only one. In my town the population is gray...as a result (IMHO), there is ample resistance to any significant increases to education, such as replacing crumbling, depressingly old schools that look more like penitentaries than anything else. So teachers and kids work with old materials and lousy facilities. And whether the pay is good depends where you are in tenure: teachers in my town are rewarded for longevity. Entry-level teacher salaries are at the bottom of our region. Ugh. And given the gray populace, I do not see this changing. Another intergenerational thorn in my side is the concept of 'grandparent rights.' which basically boils down to a judge mandating visitation of children to their grandparents despite the parents' united decision to the contrary. Imagine trying to get on with your life after growing up with dysfunctional parents, only to have them come after you with lawyers, to FORCE you to bring your kids over there for unsupervised visits. It is fortunate that a recent Supreme Court decision in a Wash. State case went in favor of the parents. The point here is that selfishness and disreagrds for others is a trait that is, sadly, an inter-generational one. Oh well, enough of this, back to jokes! Fun from topfive.com - FUNNY site... The Top 16 Signs Your Cat is Overweight 16.Cat door retro-fitted with garage door opener. 15.Confused guests constantly mistaking her for beanbag chair. 14.Always lands on her spleen. 13.Fewer calls to the fire department, but a sudden upsurge in broken branches. 12.Fifteen month gestation period, and still no kittens. 11.No longer cleans itself unless coated in Cheese Whiz. 10.Anna Nicole Smith fits through your kitty door without the aid of lubricants. 9.Catfood dish replaced with Rush Limbaugh trough. 8.Luxurious, shiny black fur replaced with mint green polyester pants suit. 7.It's no longer safe to lift him without a spotter. 6."Steals breath" from all five quintuplets, simultaneously. 5.Larry King keeps trying to kiss it full on the lips. 4.Waits for the third bowl of food to get finicky. 3.He only catches mice that get trapped in his gravitational pull. 2.Enormous gut keeps your hardwood floors freshly buffed. and the Number 1 Sign Your Cat is Overweight... 1.Has more chins than lives.