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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Vendit™ who wrote (15668)	8/13/2000 1:21:58 PM
From: Barney	Respond to of 62549

...So help me God or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton.... Subject: Dr. Seuss? If Dr. Seuss had been President Clinton's lawyer, his deposition might have read something like this: I did not do it in a car I did not do it in a bar I did not do it in the dark I did not do it in the park I did not do it on a date I did not ever fornicate I did not do it at a dance I did not do it in her pants I did not get beyond first base I did not do it in her face I never did it in a bed If you think that, you've been misled I did not do it with a groan I did not do it on the phone I did not cause her dress to stain While talking to Saddam Hussein I did not do it with a whip I did not fondle Linda Tripp I never acted really silly With volunteers like Kathleen Willey There was one time, with Margaret Thatcher I chased her round, but could not catch her No kinky stuff, not on your life I would not, could not, with my wife Now, that Miss Flowers' tale of woes Was paid for by my right-wing foes And Paula Jones, and those State Troopers Are just a bunch of party poopers I did not ask my friends to lie And then just hang them out to dry I did not do it last November And if I did, I don't remember I did not do it in the hall I could have, but I don't recall There was no sex at Arlington There was no sex on Air Force One I might have copped a little feel And then endeavored to conceal But never did these things so lewd At least not ever in the nude These things to which I have confessed They do not count if we stayed dressed I never used that big cigar You must believe me, Mr. Starr I did not know this little sin Would be retold on CNN I broke some rules my mama taught me I tried to hide, but now you've caught me But I implore, I do beseech Do not condemn, Do not impeach I might have got a little tail But never, ever did I inhale