Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (15688)	8/15/2000 1:16:28 PM
From: Canuck Dave	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Actually, I have 2 of those exact stocks recommended by my brother-in-law. You interested? One of them is 85% off the point he recommended it, the other a mere 65%. CD

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (15688)	8/16/2000 5:41:25 AM
From: GROUND ZERO™	Respond to of 62549

HOW HOT IS IT IN HELL --- A TRUE STORY A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had only one question: "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with proof." Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: "First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose, and 2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So, which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, 'That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic." The student got the only A. GZ

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (15688)	8/16/2000 8:09:13 AM
From: John Carragher	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

A little old lady called 911. When the operator answered, she yelled "Help, send the police right away! There's a damn Republican on my front porch playing with himself." "What?" the operator exclaimed. "I said there is a Republican on my front porch playing with himself and he's weird. I don't know him and I'm afraid! Please send the police right away!" the little old lady said. "Well now, how do you know he's a republican???" the operator asked. "Because, you damn fool, if he were a democrat, he'd be screwing somebody!"