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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (54581)8/15/2000 6:10:07 PM
From: Jacques Chitte  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 71178
 
Another!

Plays on "It was a dark and stormy night": Winner

Jesse rolled his eyes heavenward as Caleb, his neo-Amish cousin, nearly
fainted as they passed by the mini-mall's Victoria Secret window
display, explaining to Caleb that "It was a stocking store, Mennonite!"
Matthew Chambers
Parsons WV
mcchambers69@yahoo.com
(304) 478-2466

Plays on "It was a dark and stormy night": Runner-Up

In late 19th-century France, the Catholic Church leaders became
increasingly uneasy that French sociologist Emile Durkheim's "Formes élé
mentaires de la vie religieuse" might be drawing priests and
theologians away from the established church and faith, so the Church
Fathers advised their clergy to, when reading Durkheim's work,
concentrate on a simple mantra, so as to counter any dissuasive effect
the sociologist's writing might exert on their faith; it was, "E.
Durkheim, stir me not!"
Gordon Anderson
Lawrence, KS
(785) 864-8999

Plays on "It was a dark and stormy night": Dishonorable Mention:

It was a dark and stormy night . . . well, not too dark, actually,
since the moon was full and shining brightly, the streetlights were all
functioning for once; and as for stormy, I suppose the occasional,
almost listless flash of heat lightning combined with a haze created by
the steady, mist-like drizzle meeting the hot pavement underfoot could
qualify, were one give to over-dramatization or hyperbole.
Martha McBride
Bloomington, IL
(309) 820-1598
Peeplemagn8@aol.com

Winner: Sword and Sorcery

With mighty, gargantuan, and somewhat overdeveloped thews, the
barbarian chieftan raised his titantic sword ever higher over his
fallen, but unsubdued, adversary, and, with a grunt equal to his
gigantic frame, reversed the course of his upwardly mobile blade to
send it whistling its lethal four-foot, six-inch length through the
body of his prostrate foe and into two feet of protesting soil, rock,
and assorted particles of humus.
Henry V. Taber
St. Louis, MO
(314) 263-4497 x170

Winner: Modern Romance Novel

With killer apps, high-speed penetration rates, and a way with the
customer premises equipment, she was no plain old telephone service
provider, thought Bob, plugging and praying for a next-generation,
real-time wireless connection.
Elizabeth Schmidt
Chicago, IL
(773) 525-2561



To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (54581)8/15/2000 6:15:01 PM
From: Ish  Respond to of 71178
 
Jeez, all those openings were better than mine. I'll give up on being an author and opt for choice 2 or 3. Brain or heart surgeon. Bwwwhahaha.