To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (54581 ) 8/15/2000 6:10:07 PM From: Jacques Chitte Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 71178 Another! Plays on "It was a dark and stormy night": Winner Jesse rolled his eyes heavenward as Caleb, his neo-Amish cousin, nearly fainted as they passed by the mini-mall's Victoria Secret window display, explaining to Caleb that "It was a stocking store, Mennonite!" Matthew Chambers Parsons WV mcchambers69@yahoo.com (304) 478-2466 Plays on "It was a dark and stormy night": Runner-Up In late 19th-century France, the Catholic Church leaders became increasingly uneasy that French sociologist Emile Durkheim's "Formes élé mentaires de la vie religieuse" might be drawing priests and theologians away from the established church and faith, so the Church Fathers advised their clergy to, when reading Durkheim's work, concentrate on a simple mantra, so as to counter any dissuasive effect the sociologist's writing might exert on their faith; it was, "E. Durkheim, stir me not!" Gordon Anderson Lawrence, KS (785) 864-8999 Plays on "It was a dark and stormy night": Dishonorable Mention: It was a dark and stormy night . . . well, not too dark, actually, since the moon was full and shining brightly, the streetlights were all functioning for once; and as for stormy, I suppose the occasional, almost listless flash of heat lightning combined with a haze created by the steady, mist-like drizzle meeting the hot pavement underfoot could qualify, were one give to over-dramatization or hyperbole. Martha McBride Bloomington, IL (309) 820-1598 Peeplemagn8@aol.com Winner: Sword and Sorcery With mighty, gargantuan, and somewhat overdeveloped thews, the barbarian chieftan raised his titantic sword ever higher over his fallen, but unsubdued, adversary, and, with a grunt equal to his gigantic frame, reversed the course of his upwardly mobile blade to send it whistling its lethal four-foot, six-inch length through the body of his prostrate foe and into two feet of protesting soil, rock, and assorted particles of humus. Henry V. Taber St. Louis, MO (314) 263-4497 x170 Winner: Modern Romance Novel With killer apps, high-speed penetration rates, and a way with the customer premises equipment, she was no plain old telephone service provider, thought Bob, plugging and praying for a next-generation, real-time wireless connection. Elizabeth Schmidt Chicago, IL (773) 525-2561