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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Carragher who wrote (15700)	8/16/2000 9:12:07 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

QUOTES ------ "My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to." - Rita Rudner "I'm the second-most-famous person from Timmins, Ontario - after Shania Twain. That's like being the second-most-famous person from Bethlehem. No one cares about Duncan of Bethlehem." - Derek Edwards "I broke my arm trying to fold a bed. It wasn't the kind that folds." - Steven Wright "President Clinton declared major parts of California disaster areas: flooded coastal plains, mountainous mudslide areas, and anywhere that Kevin Costner is filming." - Jim Rosenberg "I realize that there are certain hardships that only females must endure, such as childbirth, waiting in lines for public-restroom stalls, and a crippling, psychotic obsession with shoe color. Also, females tend to reach emotional maturity very quickly, so that by age seven they are no longer capable of seeing the humor in loud inadvertent public blasts of flatulence, whereas males can continue to derive vast enjoyment from this well into their 80s." - Dave Barry "Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words." - Woody Allen "New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most of it unsolved." - Johnny Carson "I like to pick up hitchhikers. When they get in the car I say, 'Put on your seat belt. I want to try something. I saw it once in a cartoon, but I think I can do it.'" - Steven Wright