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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: sandintoes who wrote (15734)	8/21/2000 9:43:56 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62567

Things That Take Years to Learn ---------------------------------- 1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it. 2. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. 3. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers. 4. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 5. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 6. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 7. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them. 8. You should not confuse your career with your life. 9. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not a nice person. 10. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

To: sandintoes who wrote (15734)	8/21/2000 4:31:40 PM
From: Ian@SI	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62567

Saint Peter was manning the Pearly Gates when forty people from New York City showed up. Never having seen anyone from the Big Apple at heaven's door, Saint Peter said he would have to check with God. After hearing the news, God instructed him to admit the ten most virtuous people from the group. A few minutes later, Saint Peter returned to God breathless and said, "They're gone!" "What? All of the New Yorkers are gone?" asked God. "No!" replied Saint Peter. "The Pearly Gates!"