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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (16191)	9/19/2000 1:32:46 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

It's 8:00 AM at a gambling casino. There are two guys waiting at the dice table for additional competition. A very attractive lady comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. The other two agree. She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm not wearing underwear." With that she strips naked from the waist down. She then rolls the dice while yelling, "Mamma needs a new pair of pants! YES! I WIN!" With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The other two just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?" The other answers, "I don't know. I thought you were watching the dice!"

To: Barney who wrote (16191)	9/19/2000 1:56:36 PM
From: Karen Lawrence	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Barney, here are a few more rules from "Keys to writing gooder": 1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. 2. No sentence fragments. 3. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. 4. Comparisons are as bad as cliches. 5. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. 6. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas. 7. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them. 8. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earthshaking ideas. 9. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed. 10. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly. 11. Puns are for children, not groan readers.