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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (16370)	10/4/2000 1:15:11 PM
From: Guardian	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Future as Seen in 1950 > (1). "I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, its' > going to be impossible to buy a weeks groceries for $20." > (2) "Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long when > $5000 will only buy a used one." > (3). "If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. > A quarter a pack is ridiculous." > (4). "Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging dime just to mail a letter?" > (5). "The Government is wanting to get its hands on everything. Pretty soon it's going to be impossible to run a family business or farm." > (6). "If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store." > (7). "When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 50 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage." > (8). "Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it > impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls." > (9). "Also, their music drives me wild. This > `Rock Around The Clock` thing is nothing but racket." > (10). "I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying `damn` in `Gone With The Wind,` it seems every movie has a > `hell` or`damn in it." > (11). "Also, it won't be long until couples are > sleeping in the same bed in the movies. What is this world coming to?" > (12)."Marilyn Monroe is now showing her bra and panties, so apparently there are no standards anymore." > (13). "Pretty soon you won't be able to buy a good 10 cent cigar." > (14). "I read the other day where some scientist > thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the of the > century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it > down in Texas." > (15). "Did you see where some baseball player just signed a > contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if > someday they'll be making more than the president." > (16). "Do you suppose television will ever reach our part of the country?" > (17). "I never thought > I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now." > (18). "It's too bad things are so tough > nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends > meet." > (19). "It won't be long before young couples are going to have to > hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work." > (20). "Marriage doesn't mean a thing anymore, Those Hollywood stars seem to be getting > divorced at the drop of a hat." > (21). " I'll tell you one thing. If my kid > ever talks back to me, they won't be able to sit down for a week." > (22). > "Did you know the new church in town is allowing women to wear slacks to > their service?" > (23). "Next thing you know is, the government will start > paying us not to grow crops." > (24). "I'm just afraid the Volkswagen car is > going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business." > (25). "Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our > income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to > congress." > (26). "Why in the world would you want to send your daughter to > college? Isn't she going to get married? It would be different if she could be a doctor or a lawyer." > (27). "I just hate to see the young people > smoking. As I tell my kids, "Don't take a cigarette from ANYONE. You never > know what might be in it." > (28). The drive-in restaurant is convenient in > nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on." > (29). "There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel." > (30). "Anymore no one can afford to be > sick, $35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood." > (31). "If a few idiots want to risk their necks flying across the country that's fine, but > nothing will ever replace trains." > (32). "I don't know about you but if they raise the price of coffee to 15 cents, I'll just have to drink mine at home." > (33). "If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it. > I'll have my wife learn to cut hair." > (34). "We won't be going out much anymore. Our baby sitter informed us she wants 50 cents an hour. Kids think money grows on trees." > (35). "Cars which dim their lights by sensors, automatic transmissions, and who knows what else? Pretty soon they will drive themselves." >