Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (16867)	11/11/2000 1:39:15 PM
From: Karen Lawrence	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62592

Subject: Congress: Florida Excised from Union WASHINGTON D.C. - Following an emergency meeting Wednesday morning,Congress unanimously voted to excise Florida from the United States of America. The move was a reaction to the confusion and irregularities in the state's voting numbers that have totally disrupted the 2000 Presidential election. "This is the last straw," said Utah senator Orrin Hatch. "First Elian, now this." Several congressmen told reporters the decision has been a long time in coming. "We're all pretty much sick of Florida," said representative Barney Frank. "They've been a constant embarrassment for too long now." Added Frank, "They had Dan Marino for a while, but what have they done lately? Oh that's right, screw up our entire democracy. I forgot" In a speech on the Senate floor, Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy commented that the loss of Florida's sizable elderly population will free up billions of dollars in Social Security funds. From her New York campaign headquarters, newly elected senator Hillary Clinton echoes the sentiments of her future colleagues on Capitol Hill, calling Florida "a hurricane-addled hellhole" Dynamiting will begin in Florida next Wednesday to geographically separate them from the United States. "After that, they're on their own." said Speaker of the House, Dennis Hastert. He added, "I hope they sink."

To: Barney who wrote (16867)	11/12/2000 12:57:35 PM
From: Susan G	Respond to of 62592

A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?" The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said, "Well yeah, if that's what they are-I never heard of circle flies." So the farmer says, "Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse." The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, "Hey . . . wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horse's ass?" The farmer says, "Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horses' ass." The trooper says, "Well, that's a good thing," and goes back to writing the ticket. After a long pause, the farmer says, "Hard to fool them flies, though."