To: Dr. Id who wrote (8558 ) 11/19/2000 2:13:58 PM From: BirdDog Respond to of 22706 NEWSWEEK WEB EXCLUSIVE UPDATE Due to overwhelming response from readers who also attended the "maze test". We're motivated to report the embarrassing events leading to the seizure of the broom from Hillary by Secret Service. Only after the mouse having lost the number 2 through 8 spots in an unofficial fastest running of the maze, did the Secret Service Agents force the broom from Hillary's hands. In trying to kill the mouse, Hillary chased the mouse (broom in hand) through the maze in the fastest 8 times the maze has ever been run. Number 2,3,4 go to Hillary and two Agents hanging onto her. Numbers 5,6,7, and 8 go to the rest of the agents who also beat the fastest time. Number 1 goes to the mouse. The scientists conducting the test were amazed and concluded that we also unofficially broke the world record mile....by 1 mouse, and 7 people all at once. Upon hearing all this unofficial record stuff, the Liberal Democrats had the place flooded with Attorneys within minutes. On witnessing this, Billy-Bob said: "That's my Girl. She'll motivate the country that way. That's how she motivated me to the Presidency." Gore was heard saying in a phone call to Nike: "I invented those high heels!" Leiberman was heard saying: "She's faster than Daniel!" Bush said: "It's a good thing Liberal Democrats don't carry guns....otherwise that mouse would be dead." Three of the Secret Service Agents put in for medical leave after their second fight with Hillary in two days. The other three submitted their papers for retirement and were heard saying: "There's gotta be something easier. Like maybe the Seals." Only after the scientists voted three times. Votes were counted 4 times by machine and by hand. Then Hillary finally conceded and allowed the mouse to have half the piece of cheese at the end of the maze. Reporters were too afraid to approach Hillary for comment. The mouse has been reported in hiding, and unavailable for comment. BirdDog