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To: Dr. Id who wrote (8558)11/19/2000 12:08:06 PM
From: unclewest  Respond to of 22706
 
I am really sorry I invented the electoral college.

Al Gore, Nov 2000



To: Dr. Id who wrote (8558)11/19/2000 12:10:33 PM
From: Uncle Frank  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 22706
 
I'll concede that Bush isn't the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, but Gore conceded the election on November 2.

If nothing else, it indicates Al has a tendency towards making precipitous decisions based on inconclusive data. Wouldn't that be worrisome trait if he became president?

cuf



To: Dr. Id who wrote (8558)11/19/2000 12:26:30 PM
From: BirdDog  Respond to of 22706
 
NEWSWEEK WEB EXCLUSIVE

Since reporting that Bush beat both Bongo the Chimp and a mouse in IQ tests on Nov. 1. Now that the "voting" is over, we can freely report that both the chimp and the mouse beat Gore, Lieberman, and Both Billy-Bob and Hillary Clinton. The only sore loser we had was Hillary. Secret Service had to pull her apart from Bongo in what could have been charged as "aggrivated assault". Bongo was obviously traumatized by the First Ladies aggressive actions. Secret Service had to sieze a broom from Hillary's hands in her attempt to kill the mouse.

BirdDog



To: Dr. Id who wrote (8558)11/19/2000 2:13:58 PM
From: BirdDog  Respond to of 22706
 
NEWSWEEK WEB EXCLUSIVE UPDATE

Due to overwhelming response from readers who also attended the "maze test". We're motivated to report the embarrassing events leading to the seizure of the broom from Hillary by Secret Service.
Only after the mouse having lost the number 2 through 8 spots in an unofficial fastest running of the maze, did the Secret Service Agents force the broom from Hillary's hands. In trying to kill the mouse, Hillary chased the mouse (broom in hand) through the maze in the fastest 8 times the maze has ever been run. Number 2,3,4 go to Hillary and two Agents hanging onto her. Numbers 5,6,7, and 8 go to the rest of the agents who also beat the fastest time. Number 1 goes to the mouse. The scientists conducting the test were amazed and concluded that we also unofficially broke the world record mile....by 1 mouse, and 7 people all at once. Upon hearing all this unofficial record stuff, the Liberal Democrats had the place flooded with Attorneys within minutes.
On witnessing this, Billy-Bob said: "That's my Girl. She'll motivate the country that way. That's how she motivated me to the Presidency."
Gore was heard saying in a phone call to Nike: "I invented those high heels!"
Leiberman was heard saying: "She's faster than Daniel!"
Bush said: "It's a good thing Liberal Democrats don't carry guns....otherwise that mouse would be dead."
Three of the Secret Service Agents put in for medical leave after their second fight with Hillary in two days. The other three submitted their papers for retirement and were heard saying: "There's gotta be something easier. Like maybe the Seals."
Only after the scientists voted three times. Votes were counted 4 times by machine and by hand. Then Hillary finally conceded and allowed the mouse to have half the piece of cheese at the end of the maze.
Reporters were too afraid to approach Hillary for comment. The mouse has been reported in hiding, and unavailable for comment.

BirdDog



To: Dr. Id who wrote (8558)11/19/2000 4:34:57 PM
From: Eric L  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 22706
 
I know this will make your day:

Woods a Perfect 10 with Thailand Win at Johnnie Walker Classic

Woods shot a third straight 7-under 65 Sunday to win the Johnnie Walker Classic by three shots. Woods' tourney record 25-under total gave him 10 titles for the year.

He's back!

- Eric -