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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Calvin Scott who wrote (17050)	11/28/2000 7:09:51 PM
From: Calvin Scott	Respond to of 62578

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade when his telephone rang. "Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice says. "This is Paddy down in County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringin' to inform you that we are officially declarin' war on you!!" "Well, Paddy," Saddam replies, "This is indeed important news! Tell me, how big is your army?" "At this moment in time," says Paddy after a moments calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Gerry and the entire dominoes team from the pub - that would make 8!" Saddam sighed. "I must tell you Paddy that I have 1 million men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Begorra!", says Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back!" Sure enough, the next day Paddy rings back. "Right, Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment, by the grace of God!" "And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asks. "Well, we have 2 combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Murphy's tractor from the farm." Once more Saddam sighs. "I must tell you Paddy that I have 16,000 tanks, 14,000 armored personnel carriers, and my army has increased to a million and a half men since we last spoke." "Begorra!" says Paddy "I'll have to ring you back!" Paddy rings again the next day. "Right, Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Ted's ultralight with a couple of rifles in the cockpit and the bridge team has joined us as well!" Saddam is silent for a minute, then sighs. "I must tell you Paddy that I have 10,000 bombers, 20,000 MiG 19 attack planes, my military complex is surrounded by laser-guided surface-to-air missile sites, and since we last spoke, my army has increased to 2 million." "Faith and begorra!", says Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back." True to his word, Paddy calls again the next day. "Right, Mr. Hussein, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war." "I'm sorry to hear that" says Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well," says Paddy "We've all had a chat and there's no way we can feed 2 million prisoners."