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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: CharlieChina who wrote (17126)	12/3/2000 1:25:55 PM
From: Ian@SI	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

HOT DOGS Two guys wanted to go drinking, but they only had a dollar between them. One of the fellows looked over at a hot dog wagon nearby, and got an idea. He spent the dollar on a hot dog. He threw the bun away, and stuffed the hot dog down his underwear. "We're gonna walk into the bar, order beers and drink them down. When the bartender asks for payment, I'm gonna stick this hot dog out of my fly. You are gonna drop to your knees and start sucking on it. The bartender will be so grossed out that he'll immediately throw us out of the bar," said the lad. They entered a bar and the scam worked like a charm. After the seventh bar they were both extremely drunk. One of them started complaining, "Sheesh, I'm starting to get bad bruises from dropping down on my knees." His companion slurred, "You think you got problems? I lost the hot dog four bars ago!"

To: CharlieChina who wrote (17126)	12/3/2000 3:00:50 PM
From: Susan G	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Who is Jack Schitt? For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them. Sincerely, Crock O. Schitt NOTE: PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS TO LOWER THEIR BLOOD PRESSURE. REMEMBER: LAUGHING LOWERS THE BLOOD PRESSURE. IF SOME ONE CAN READ THIS WITHOUT LAUGHING ALL THE WAY TO THE TOES, THEY HAVE A SERIOUS "NEED JOY" PROBLEM.