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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: david james who wrote (17271)	12/11/2000 11:47:59 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Respond to of 62549

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment. Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. Peg said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess." "And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!" "Very good, Peg" said the teacher. "Now, Nell?" Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens to sell for cooking. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten chicks. The moral to this story is, don't count your chickens until they've hatched." That was a fine story Nell. "Billy do you have a story to share?" Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Lucy. Aunt Lucy was a flight engineer in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun, and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets, then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke and then she killed the last ten with her bare hands." Good heavens!" said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral did your daddy give you from that horrible story?" "Don't fuck with Aunt Lucy when she's been drinking."