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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: The Rabbit who wrote (17359)	12/15/2000 1:35:27 PM
From: Calvin Scott	Respond to of 62549

Dear Abby, I am a crack dealer in New Jersey who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in the suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Jersey City. I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica for rape and murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of incest with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in the Bronx and indeed is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel. However her time there is limited, as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, at least it would get them off the street, and hopefully the heroin. My problem is this: I love my fiancée and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who voted for Gore???? Signed, Worried About My Reputation

To: The Rabbit who wrote (17359)	12/15/2000 2:51:42 PM
From: The Philosopher	Respond to of 62549

In 00, Gore got the majority of the popular vote, We don't know that. Not all the votes were counted. In Calif, for example, over 1 million absentee ballots weren't even counted at all because Gore was more than a million votes ahead. But if many of those were military ballots, which went strongly for Bush, they might have changed the national vote totals enough to make Bush the popular vote winner. But I didn't hear a peep out of Gore about counting all of THOSE ballots. He was quite happy to have those voters disenfranchised. Now let's take the political arguments to where they belong, not on this thread. ObJoke: A man reached Hell and was being escorted to his place in the pit of fire when he saw a lobbyist he knew being given a blow job by a beautiful woman. "Hey," he said, "how come I'm going to the pit of fire and that lobbyist, who I know for a fact is a worse liar and cheat than I ever was, is getting a blow job for his punishment? It's not fair." "Ah," replied his escorting devil, "that's not his punishment. It's hers."