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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Guardian who wrote (17425)	12/19/2000 12:47:10 AM
From: sandintoes	Respond to of 62549

LOL That's okay this did! August 12 Moved to our new home in Michigan. It is so wonderful here; Lake Michigan is magnificent. Can hardly wait to see snow on the trees. October 14 Michigan is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning shades of red and orange. Went for a drive through the forest near Lake Michigan and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly, they are the most wonderful animals on earth. Saw the sunset over the lake. This must be paradise. I love it here. November 11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here more each day! December 1 5:00 PM. It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first one we've seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window, watching the snow flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was soooo beautiful! December 2 Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looked like a perfect picture postcard. We went outside and had a snowball fight (I won). Later, I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I did both our driveway and our sidewalk. Later, a city snowplow came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shoveled it again. What a beautiful place. I love Michigan. December 8 It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature has dropped to around 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplow came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now brownish gray. December 12 Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought studded snow tires for the car. Fell on my ass in the driveway, shoveling after the snowplow came through (for the third time that day). $145.00 to the chiropractor, but nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected. December 13 More snow fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snow-plow hides around the curve and waits until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Asshole! December 25 Merry Christmas. More snow. If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-bitch Who drives the snow-plow, I swear I'll kill the bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the damn ice. December 27 More snow fell last night. Been inside for three days except for shoveling out the driveway after that snow-plow goes through every time. Can't go anywhere, car's stuck in a mountain of white. The weatherman says to expect another 10" snow again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10" is? December 28 The weatherman had his head up his ass - we got 24" of snow this time. At this rate, it won't melt before the summer. The snow-plow got stuck in the road and that bastard came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him I had broken six shovels already, shoveling all the snow he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one over his head. I couldn't find my ice ax to finish him off - it was buried under a snowdrift! December 29 2 degrees outside. More snow. Not a tree or shrub on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater, which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put the flames out, but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands and lost all my eyelashes and eyebrows. On the way home from the emergency room, I slid on the ice trying to miss a deer and almost put the car in Lake Michigan. Totaled the car anyway against an iceberg - yes, an iceberg in Lake Michigan shoreline! I should have hit the damn deer and taken my chances. Those damn beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them ALL last November. January 4 Damn snow it keeps coming down. Have to put on all the clothes we own just to get to the mailbox. Power still off. Toilet froze and part of the roof has started to cave in. Tried to take a piss outside and ended up with a dicksicle. January 7 Sixteen more inches of snow, sleet, ice and who knows what else fell last night. I wounded the snowplow driver with the ice ax, but he got away. Wife left me. Car won't start. I think I'm going snow blind. I can't move my toes. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. More snow predicted. Wind chill MINUS 22 degrees. January 8 Moved back to Texas. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever live in that God-forsaken state of Michigan.