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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: JF Quinnelly who wrote (57554)	12/22/2000 8:55:02 AM
From: Crocodile	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 71178

Who designs this stuff? People who don't work on it... Oh jeez... now here's a topic that is near and dear to my heart.... indeed..... How many times have I heard that, while working on the mechanic's counter of a car dealership parts department...??? oh...say...maybe 30 times a day....yah... that would be about right... Actually, if you have an 85 Nissan...you should probably be thanking your lucky stars... because if it was a 2000, it would be fairly SQUEEZING its way out from under the hood with all of the cables and hoses and sensors and relays and bypass valves and other junkola that is jammed into that tiny little engine compartment... Let me tell you... Being a mechanic (or a partsman) is not so easy these days... Nope... Have to know about cars and computers and all kinds of stuff now. Lots of the older mechanics are retiring from the biz...well... from the dealership garages... and just fixing older cars out of their own garages... Because it takes time to keep up with all of the new gadgetry and engines and ignition/emission, etc.. systems that keep coming out. Fellas have to keep going back to school to learn more and more until their heads are ready to EXPLODE with car knowledge... And even then, well... it STILL isn't easy... cause they have to buy more and more tools to be able to undo special nuts and fasteners... and get into really tiny little nooks and crannies... Probably shock the Be-jeezuz out of most people if they knew just how much capital a good mechanic has tied up in those monstrous red tool cabinets on wheels..... Yep... would easily rival the price of tuition at...uhm... medical or law school... and BTW, this is definitely an I-kid-you-not statement... and then the dealership ALSO has to buy special tools too... weirdo test-wiring harnesses, special pullers and peculiar one-of-a-kind-looking wrenches.. uh-huh... the last place I was at... I think we were up to around 110 "special tool kits" in the tool room... and since then, when I dropped back to visit... I think it might have been as many as 300... and the manuals... well... it's getting to look a bit like a university library around that place....yep... and they have a couple of computer terminals out in the shop hooked up by satellite to the car makers... so that the guys can use them to help figure out how to do some particular job... oh jeez... some of them REALLY do not like being mechanics anymore... especially some of the older guys who have been in the business for more than 20 years and who aren't Computer Whiz-Kids... nope...those guys usually HATE the new cars... Gone are the days of being a Grease Monkey who liked to tinker around with cars... adjusting idle jets and rebuilding engines... doing ring jobs and replacing lifters... It's not the same business at all.. And then, well... there's lots of pressure to work FAST....FAST....FAST.... Most shops are "flat rate" which, for those who don't know that term... means that there is a book that tells just how long a period of time a mechanic will be paid for when he works on some job on a car. If it takes him 2 hours to fix something and the book says he gets ".2"...well... he just getting paid for a few minutes of his 2 hours... tough-ass if he's been out in the shop struggling with some cobra-like hoses and getting his hands cut to ribbons on little sheet metals holes in a firewall trying to get to some miniature sensor buried halfway down behind the back of an engine... yeppers... But what the guys really like... are these "recalls"... oh yeah...they're just DANDY things... because the car-makers don't like to do recalls at all.. so they "pay" the mechanics almost nothing to do whatever has to be done to "fix" the recall problem... usually something like ".1" to replace half the car... well...perhaps not quite that bad, but almost... However, well...in a goodly sized dealership, the guys will share little tricks of the trade and soon everyone is whipping out the recall fixes in less than point-one.... but then...well...just about at that point, those are all over and done with... and it's a BRAND NEW RECALL!!! YAH!!!!! BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD, FELLAS!!!! Oh, BTW, it is ALWAYS hilarious the day that someone does the very FIRST recall in the shop... Oh yeah... Picture a guy coming up to the parts counter with his hard copy (the hard paper off the back of the workorder)... He stands there, looking kind of puzzled... and says... "What's this Recall #07-8263???" On our side of the counter...we smile and look at each other... and reply, "Oh, lucky you!! You get to be the first guy to get one of those...!!!" Then we walk back into the bins and come back hauling some jeezly big box and plop it on the counter in front of the guy. He invariably shrieks, "WHAT THE **** IS THIS??!!!!!" And we do an "I-dunno" shrug, as innocently as possible while the mechanic opens the box... Oh jeez... yep... it's usually a pretty sad sight.... ......maybe has a bunch of little hoses and probably a sensor or two... and probably some little pieces of wire, and a couple of snippets of fusible link, and maybe a 2 foot long chunk of plastic wire loom, and 4 pages of instruction sheets... The mechanic will stand there staring at this "stuff" for about 30 seconds... then stare at us with a look of quiet desperation on his face... and then SLAM the box flaps closed and put the whole shooting match under his arm and STOMP out through the door back into the shop... where he will... INVARIABLY... have to spend a couple of hours or more working on THE FIRST RECALL... sorting out all of the steps and the instructions... and figuring out what stuff to chop off the car, and what to replace.... and all for...oh....maybe... $6.00... (HA HAHAHA HAH HAHAA...uh...yes...welll... it really isn't funny... cause most of these fellas have families...children... people who need to eat food and have a roof over their heads... so it's not nice to work for 2 or 3 hours for $6.00...) But, they do persist... and eventually figure it all out. And while they're doing it...well...they have lots of support... lots of commiseration from the other mechanics who periodically come and stare into the MESS of wires and hoses... and watch their co-worker... hoping to get a few little tips... before they get the same recall... undoubtedly within another day or two.. because, well... once the recall notices go out, you get one or two cars on the first day, but then the numbers start to swell until there are maybe 10-20 cars a day...until it's over with... so, like... you have to think of that first mechanic... the one who gets THE FIRST RECALL as a sort of Sacrifice to the Recall God... The one guy who has to spend hours trying to figure out what to do.... and then...well... he comes to work the next day... reincarnated... as the RECALL GURU.... he who must be plied with slices of pizza and a cold beer to impart pearls of wisdom on Recall #07-8263" to his eager and appreciative pupils... Uhm..but..yeah... the cars are getting to be very crazy hard to work on...... and not enough space anywhere... just a big mess or wires and hoses and junk... Once worked with a mick who was missing 3 fingers and only had his thumb and index finger on his right hand... Everyone used to call him over to help get a nut threaded..started...onto bolts in tight spots around engines.. he had the real advantage there...like..."hands down"... guess in this case, his handicap could have been viewed as an "occupational advantage"... yep... Car business... monkey business... gotta love it.....