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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ish who wrote (57650)	12/24/2000 6:43:16 PM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 71178

Why did the cousin call you? Just sort of "we should let Bill know" thing? It sounds as if there are no expectations from you anyway. And certainly you should have no guilt about feeling little loss or emotion. Just because people are "family" doesn't entitle them to anything based on blood. We have friends who are much closer to us than family, people to whom we would turn without hesitation in need, and people to whom we would write a check without a question if asked. Family you get stuck with, but you don't have to love them. And the older I get, it seems the more people I meet who find family a terrible burden. It's as if family thinks they owe nothing, but can ask anything. I know my in-laws wish we were closer to the rest of the family, but how can you feel anything about people you have met once? Or some not ever? Is it just some ingrained sense of duty we're raised with? People gripe constantly about their terrible relatives, but obviously there are also very strong feelings arising from these relationships and a lot of conflict when it comes to reacting to demands. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe there IS something about blood.