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Politics : Sharks in the Septic Tank -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: hobo who wrote (1077)1/15/2001 2:44:08 PM
From: cosmicforce  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 82486
 
i would not want to think a personal relationship where there are "winners or losers"

Actually, I think this calculus is what is missing in many relationships. We should always ask ourselves are we maintaining the balance. Are we offsetting losses with wins? Is there a way for everyone to win? I've been happily married for 20 years by being very up front with my spouse about my "wins and losses" from the relationship and have made sure my spouse's "wins and losses" are in balance.

My preferred rule: "Cut your losses and maximize your gains". Sometimes "your" gains are other people's gains too. That is ideal.



To: hobo who wrote (1077)1/15/2001 2:55:40 PM
From: epicure  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 82486
 
if you are lucky- in personal relationships you come close to a draw- no winner no loser
of course it isn't static- and I suppose what you want is a draw over time

But I agree, that's merely the way I look at it (I hope I said "imo" in my original post)


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