E, somewhat related, there was this local story I found puzzling and disturbing. The puzzling part:
Coleman, in his training of school counselors at the UW, covers "mandating reporting," that if a school counselor
becomes aware of a sexually active student, the counselor is mandated by state law to report it to a social service
agency.
Teachers and all social service providers are considered mandated reporters, he said.
"Lawyers are the only ones exempt - and probably priests in the confession," he said.
Any sexual activity by someone under the age of 18 without parental consent is part of the mandate, Coleman said.
Which seems to unofficially require a "don't ask, don't tell" policy, or else a mighty big and juicy state file someplace. The full story:
MOM WRONG TO PROVIDE CONDOMS, PROF SAYS
Thirteen-year-olds cannot handle sex and a Baraboo mother was wrong to hand out condoms to her sexually active
boy.
That's the opinion of a University of Wisconsin-Madison professor who trains school counselors.
Hardin Coleman, a former school counselor, says a 33-year-old Baraboo woman acted irresponsibly when she supplied
her teenager with condoms, and that prosecutors are probably within the law in pursuing charges.
The woman was charged in November with exposing her child to unreasonable risk of sexual intercourse or contact.
She could face up to 15 years in prison and a $10,000 fine.
"Developmentally, I think it was an inappropriate parenting decision. That is what my area of expertise suggests," said
Coleman, an associate professor of counseling psychology.
At that age an adolescent is not old enough to get a job and raise a family and therefore there are laws to prohibit
children from having sexual intercourse, Coleman said.
"He couldn't manage the consequences. He would be totally dependent on the state or parents for follow-through. Until
you can take care of adult responsibilities you shouldn't engage in adult behavior. I think it's a pretty simple rule," he said.
Coleman - who has a 13-year-old son of his own, and an 11-year- old son - doesn't need professional credentials to
come to this conclusion. His home life is a case study.
"Based on the conversations I hear around my house, they are not ready to engage. I'm not even sure they are even
ready to start kissing girls," he said, chuckling.
But UW Law School Professor Meg Gaines vehemently disagrees about whether thecourts should get involved in a
parenting decision of this nature.
"For the state to intervene in decisions like this with the sledgehammer of the law is absurd," she said.
If anything, the mother and child need help, Gaines said.
"They don't need to be chased after by the state - at least with the criminal arm of the state. That's just silly."
Gaines, who has a 10-year-old son and 7-year-old daughter, said that the decision the Baraboo mother made is the
type of judgment call no parent wants to make.
"Obviously we don't want children to be sexually active at that young an age but if they are, it seems to me that we
cannot fault a parent for trying to keep them safe and trying to keep others safe," she said.
Both Gaines and Coleman spoke from the basic facts of the case since the circumstances are not entirely known.
According to the criminal complaint, the middle school boy told a police officer last spring that he was worried he had a
sexually transmitted disease. He said he had had sex with his 15-year-old girlfriend the previous day and had heard
through friends that she had a sexually transmitted disease.
The boy also told the officer that his mother knew he was sexually active and had bought condoms for him, instructing
him to "make sure it doesn't break" during intercourse.
The mother later confirmed that she had given her son two dozen condoms a few months earlier. Although she said he
didn't keep track of them, she had recently discovered that there was only one left.
She also said she never prohibited the boy from having sex and never contacted any social service agency for help in the
matter.
While local observers say that it is important for parents and children to have open conversations about sex, they also
say it is equally important to seek professional help when necessary.
Madison AIDS Network executive director Robert J. Power said that his organization encourages parents to have
open, honest dialogues with their children about sexual activity.
"For us, that is the key to a healthy lifestyle," he said.
What parents and their children decide is appropriate is an private matter, he said. If there is no successful resolution, the
next step would be to bring in a family counselor, Power said.
"It would be nice to say that the only conversation that we'd have with young people is about abstinence. But we also
know that not every teenager is celibate," he said.
Coleman, in his training of school counselors at the UW, covers "mandating reporting," that if a school counselor
becomes aware of a sexually active student, the counselor is mandated by state law to report it to a social service
agency.
Teachers and all social service providers are considered mandated reporters, he said.
"Lawyers are the only ones exempt - and probably priests in the confession," he said.
Any sexual activity by someone under the age of 18 without parental consent is part of the mandate, Coleman said.
"That's what's ambiguous about this situation. At least the boy had parental consent."
Still, it would have been a concern for any social counselor who knew, he said.
As a guidance counselor in the Madison area, John Hebl knows how tricky it can be to balance making students feel
comfortable and the counselor's role as a mandated reporter.
"Those are tough issues for counselors to deal with when you want to have kids that are able to come and talk with
you," Hebl said.
The situation of the Baraboo mother is particularly challenging, said Hebl, a counselor at Edgerton High School, who like
the others called the case hard to judge without knowing the complete background of the family.
"If you have a sexually active 13-year-old you have some problems. If he's telling her that he is sexually active and it's
going to continue, I think that the mom has got a real dilemma," he said.
Still, Hebl doesn't blame the court for its role.
"I would hope that the court involvement might mandate some sort of family therapy. That might be the advantage of
getting the court involved," he said.
Coleman has less sympathy for the Baraboo mother, saying she needs to be confronted on making developmentally
inappropriate decisions for her child. But at the same time he says it would be absurd to prosecute every parent who
allows their child can engage in sexual activity before the age of 18.
"That would be a very scary standard," he said.
Nonetheless, Coleman says, if the genders were reversed there would be more condemnation of the behavior.
"If it was a 15-year-old boy with a 13-year-old girl people would be appalled. And I think we should be appalled both
ways." |
