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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: bosquedog who wrote (17921)	1/29/2001 10:06:29 PM
From: bosquedog	Respond to of 62550

Business Signs Plumber: "We repair what your husband fixed." Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak." At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout." Door of a plastic surgeons office: "Hello, can we pick your nose?" Sign at the psychic's hotline: "Don't call us, we'll call you." At a laundry shop: "How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?" At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows." Billboard on the side of the road: "Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs." On an electricians truck: "Let us remove your shorts." In a nonsmoking area: "If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." On maternity room door: "Push, Push, Push." At an optometrists office "If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the right place." On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff." In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." On a Butchers window: "Let me meat your needs." On a fence: "Salesmen welcome, dog food is expensive." At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary, we hear you coming." Outside a hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people." On a desk in a reception room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman , and the 2nd one just left." In a veterinarians waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes, Sit ! Stay!" At the electric company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't you will be." On the door of a computer store: "Out for a quick byte." In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up." Inside a bowling alley: "Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop." In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait." In a counselors office: "Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.