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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Calvin Scott who wrote (18016)	2/5/2001 7:27:00 PM
From: Calvin Scott	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62566

T Shirts 1. That's It! I'm Calling Grandma! (seen on an 8 year old) 2. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up. 3. Procrastinate Now. 4. Rehab Is for Quitters. 5. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That? 6. Party - My Crib - Two A.M. (on a baby-size shirt) 7. Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been Doing Since 15. 8. FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software. 9. I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I'VE GOT A GUN. 10. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. 11. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. 12. STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere! 13. MOOSEHEAD: A great beer and a new experience for a moose. 14. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. 15. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead. 16. POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN .... Cops have nothing to go on. 17. FOR SALE: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once. 18. HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH. 19. A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up a thousand times the memory. 20. The Meek shall inherit the earth....after we're through with it. 21. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 22. HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig. 23. WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20 years. 24. The trouble with life is there's no background music. 25. IF THERE IS NO GOD, WHO POPS UP THE NEXT KLEENEX? 26. Suicidal Twin Kills Sister By Mistake 27. MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT. 28. Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit. 29. MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three-Mile-Island cleanup team. 30. Nyquil -The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room- spinning medicine. 31. Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research. 32. The original point-and-click interface was a Smith & Wesson. 33. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.