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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Richnorth who wrote (18103)	2/12/2001 11:54:59 AM
From: Calvin Scott	Respond to of 62581

Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? A: Shoot him again. Q: How can you tell when a man is well-hung? A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose. Q: What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man's penis? A: His body. Q: Why do little boys whine? A: Because they're practicing to be men. Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him or A: Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part. Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy. Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. Q: Why do doctors slap babies butts right after they're born? A: To knock the penises off the smart ones. Q: Why do men name their penises? A: Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions. Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg? A: Because not one will stop and ask directions. Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their mates after mating? A: To stop the snoring before it starts. Q: What's the best way to kill a man? A: Put a naked woman and a 6-pack in front of him, then tell him to pick only 1. Q: What do men and pantyhose have in common? A: They either cling, run or don't fit right in the crotch! Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe. Q: What is the difference between men and women? A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. Q: How does a man keep his youth? A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"