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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: TigerPaw who wrote (18112)	2/13/2001 2:33:39 PM
From: Guardian	Respond to of 62585

that fyi is dialog from pink panther movie - sellers being the bitee. this humorous editing from salon.com-of interest to writers especially: While we staunchly believe that the free exchange of ideas is vital to a healthy democracy, the popular rhetoric of right-wing protest is in dire need of polishing before it's ready for prime time. Here, at this bastion of biased liberal elitism, we get letters. After reading them and pondering their salient points, we are often left with the vague sensation that their salient points could have been more artfully or eloquently expressed. As elitists, we feel it is our esponsibility not only to encourage political discourse but to clean it up a little. In the interest of uniting, not dividing, we have selected a few choice missives for troubleshooting. One reader writes: "Dubya Rules. He's not a liar like Gore-illa." While the writer exhibits considerable wit -- note the delightful wordplay of "Gore-illa" -- the "R" in "rules" should not be capitalized. One reader writes: "I hope you leftist crybaby thieving, fucking pukes ... try something in the next 4 years. I live for the day this country settles its disputes on the battlefield. We finally get to see if the slimey feminists are right that women can do anything a man can do. Keep it up pinheads with your troublemaking, you keep saying half the people didn't vote for Bush, well half did and it's the half that believes in guns. I say it's time we settle things with them." The writer might consider replacing the word "slimey" with the preferred "slimy" and breaking up the second-to-last sentence into two or three parts. With the proper punctuation, this letter could really sing. Also, the writer might try replacing the awkward "pukes" with "pools of sick" or "vomit puddles." One reader writes: "You nut fucks are really stupid cocksuckers. Fuck you all, & the queer bait you rode in with." While we're not sure what a "nut-fuck" is, we are sure that it should be hyphenated. Also, the ampersand -- while it adds a delightful 18th-century typographical note that summons up the stout days of colonial patriotism -- should be replaced with "and." The second part of the second sentence employs a hackneyed construction that should be avoided when possible. However, if the writer wishes to use this construction, the preposition should be changed from "with" to "on" -- unless the writer means to suggest the horse is not a mode of transportation but, rather, a companion. One reader writes: "Fuck you all, and the horse you rode in on; to boot." The use of this cliché, as we said, should be avoided when possible. In this case, however, it is used correctly. We do find the portion of the sentence following the semicolon somewhat confusing, if oddly endearing. salon.com