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Politics : Sharks in the Septic Tank -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Greg or e who wrote (5994)	2/16/2001 1:08:03 PM
From: E	Respond to of 82486

Message 15355309 <<<I received the following message in a PM from an SI member who doesn't want to give her name. She gave me permission to post it here. I think she wanted you, especially, to know about her experience. "I can't post this, my story: After the rape, at gunpoint, I wanted to tear off my breasts lest people see me as a woman, with a vagina, a potential target, a cum rag, I fantasized about blowing away the scene of the crime, my forever infected vagina, with a shotgun, with the pellets moving clear though my head to wipe away the memories, i couldn't eat, because why feed an empty shell, air blew between my ears, I am tall and i lost 35#. I was a human skeleton. Like vultures men seemed even more attracted to that diminished me. I packed on weight to insulate me. I recoiled at any touch, i had nightmares bordering on delusions that parasites were riddling my body, I had a pregnancy test three times, and then had an IUD put in, and I kept it for three years after it needed removing, even when my husband, the only man I even vaguely trusted got a vasectomy. He hates and wanted to kill the rapist and I feared I would lose him. I had every resource available to me. I am still not quite right. Part of my recovery is knowing that I control my own vagina. I give it when I choose. I still have nightmares I'm pregnant with a monster. Some of these people would have made me carry that blob. I have no doubt I would have killed myself if forced to do so.">>>