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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Shawn M. Downey who wrote (18266)	2/27/2001 10:39:08 PM
From: Tomato	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62550

Most, if not all are repeats, but maybe one or two aren't?: > << A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. > > > > > > Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind > the > > > wheel was knitting! > > > > > > Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, > the > > > trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled > > > "PULLOVER!" > > > > > > "NO," the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!" > > > > > > * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * > > > > > > The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his > > > company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he > > > asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or > dead, > > who > > > would it be?" > > > > > > The blonde quickly responded, "The living one." > > > > > > * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ~ ~ * > > > > > > A police officer stops a blond for speeding and asks her very nicely > if > > he > > > could see her license. She replies in a huff, "I wish you guys would > get > > > your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then > > today > > > you expect me to show it to you!" > > > > > > * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * > > > > > > A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. When it was her > turn, > > she > > > rolled the dice and landed on "Science & Nature." > > > > > > Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your > name, > > can > > > you hear it?" > > > > > > She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?" > > > > > > > > > * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * > > > > > > The blonde reported for her university final examination which > consists > > of > > > "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, > > > stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of > > > inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing > the > > > coin and marking > > > the answer sheet - 'Yes' for heads and 'No' for Tails. > > > > > > Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is > > > sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately > > > throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. > > > > > > The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. > > > > > > "I finished the exam in half an hour. But I'm rechecking my answers." > > > > > > * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * > > > > > > Q. There are three girls, all in third grade: one a brunette, one > a > > > redhead, and one a blonde. Which one of them has the best body? > > > > > > A. The blonde, because she's 19 years old. > > > > > > ************************ > > > > > > Q. What does a blonde say after she graduates from college? > > > > > > A. "Hi, welcome to McDonalds." > > > > > > ****** And yet another ******* > > > > > > Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house > > ransacked > > > and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the > > crime. > > > > > > The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the police channels, and > a > > K-9 > > > unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer > > > approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on > the > > > porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down > on > > the > > > > > > steps. > > > > > > Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all > my > > > possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? > > They > > > send me a BLIND cop!"