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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: sandintoes who wrote (18306)	3/2/2001 1:42:27 PM
From: Barney	Respond to of 62592

Subject: 50 things to do to your new neighbors 50 things to do to your new neighbors 1. Constantly ring their door bell and run away. When they catch you, ask them who they are and what they had done with Mrs. Butterfield. Work up tears if possible. 2. Bring over a covered plate with one store-bought cookie in it. Tell them that you took all day to cook it. 3. Put red food coloring on your pets mouth. Bring it over to the neighbors and ask them if they want to pet Scruffy. 4. Practice yoga on their front lawn. 5. When they come home and get out of their car, always go outside and wave and smile at them. 6. Offer to walk their dog (if they don't have one). When they say they don't have one, look surprised and walk away. 7. Call their house. Ask them why that mysterious man is climbing through their back window. 8. Ask if you can mow their lawn for cash. When you mow it, use the mover to draw pictures in the grass. When they complain about it, say "The last person who lived here loved it" or break down in tears and run inside your house. 9. Put up Christmas lights in July, send them Christmas candy and cards. When they do not do the same, ask why they have to be a grouch during the holiday season. 10. Throw old smelly socks over. When they throw it back over or try to return it, throw it back over. Continue until they give up. If they ask why you are doing it, tell them you have no idea what they are talking about and tell them they need a better way to get rid of their waste. 11. Put disks in their mailbox with the title "TOP SECRET GOVERMENT INFORMATION" written on it. Put on the disk a document in which is written like "rigfruyuapyuftuynuapcurdp75347286548tcmjy4rt8v" and so forth. 12. Ask them to come over to dinner and tell them you are going to serve our favorite- Monkey Brains and Broccoli. 13. When they are out at night, making digging sounds and then a big thump and more digging sounds. 14. Ask to see their screwdriver. When they hand it to you, stick it in your hand, making a painful expression, and hand it back to them with a thanks of relief. 15. Carve your initials in their front door. 16. Send your little sister/brother over as a singing telling gram to sing pop-goes-the-weasel 8,000 times. 17. Park your car on your front lawn. 18. Play polka music 24 hours a day. 19. Always pick up newspaper in the morning butt-naked. 20. If they set up a lemonade stand (their kids), ask to see their business license. When they can't show it, proclaim that you are reporting them to the police and they are going to do some serious time. 21. When talking to them, always use a Southern accent. When they ask about it, looked surprised and say that you were born and raised in Boston. 22. Leave curdled milk on their porch. Tell them the fad of the milkman has come back in this neighborhood. 23. Put out a new flag everyday. Tell them you try to celebrate every holiday you can. 24. Sit out in front yard. Practice your fly fishing with all of your gear on. 25. Don't read the newspaper. Just put every issue on a stack on your porch. 26. Tear out your front lawn, fence it in. 27. Put in a garden and surround the gate with cheap toys you use you play with as a child. 28. Leave empty wine and beer bottles in their recycle bin. 29. Put a scarecrow on front lawn. 30. Paint your house lime green or dark purple. 31. Put sandbag army barriers surrounding your house. 32. Bask on your driveway when its -30 degrees 33. Stick pages of the phone book in their mailbox with random number highlighted. 34. Put antennas all over your roof. 35. Sell bags of powdered sugar to little kids in front of your house. 36. Cover their car with shaving cream and attempt to shave it. 37. Shoot paint guns at their house. Dress in camouflage if possible. 38. Play the National Anthem with a nosy brass/woodwind instrument on your roof. 39. Never water your lawn, but always water the driveway. 40. Camp out in your front lawn. 41. Ask if you can rent your car. 42. Let chickens roam freely. 43. Every other time you go outside, wear a body suit under your clothes. Tell your neighbor its a new diet your on. 44. Talk to the plants in your and your neighbor's yards. 45. Paint the lawn. 46. Offer to give free haircuts. 47. Leave ABC gum on their doormat. 48. Send the Jehovah Witness Missionaries to their house for a year on a weekly bases. 49. Hit golf balls into their lawn. Dig up their lawn when you hit the golf ball off their lawn. 50. Mix fertilizer and alfalfa seeds and fertilize their lawn. The results: four feet of alfalfa