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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: William Bouril who wrote (18752)	4/12/2001 1:46:21 PM
From: Karen Lawrence	Respond to of 62569

In the news: ------------- ST. PAUL - Former Navy SEAL, pro wrestler and current Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura has once again demonstrated his political acumen by comparing recreational hunting to "hunting men" in wartime. Ventura fell back on his military background as he lambasted a local newspaper columnist for questioning his commitment to conservation saying, "If you haven't hunted man, you haven't hunted." Minnesota hunter and conservationist Mike Furtman said, "[You] don't equate shooting someone in defense of your country with hunting animals. It's borderline psychotic to make that leap." During his weekly radio show Friday, Ventura said he didn't mean to offend anyone with the comments. [When asked what it's like shooting people vs. shooting game, the Governor replied, "You just don't lead 'em as much."] ---------------- LOS ANGELES - An L.A. woman got zapped during an attempt to exterminate bugs in her home. The woman, whose identity was not immediately released, activated 30 fogger-style "bug bombs" in her home, including one in the kitchen area. Some sort of ignition source triggered an explosion that authorities say burned the woman, shattered the windows and lifted the roof three inches. According to fire spokesman Jim Wells,no more than three or four foggers should have been used and the blast caused about $30,000 damage to the 800-square-foot home. ------------------ DICKSON, Tennessee - Tennessee maintenance worker, Joe Kern, really takes his work to heart. The 52-year-old father-of ten slipped while using a nail gun to carry out repairs on a trailer. Kern told reporters that the nail was sticking out of his body with an inch of it lodged in the breast bone. He also said he had a good idea it hit the heart because he could feel the heart beat through the nail. Now, instead of going straight to hospital, he wanted to tell his wife Pam what had happened so she "would not come apart." A co-worker drove Kern home before he was air-lifted to a hospital in Vandy where surgeons removed the nail and repaired a hole in his right ventricle. ---------------- MOSCOW - If your shiny car ever gets stolen and turns up in Moscow, the city's vigilant traffic police know just what to do: Give the proud new owner a permit to drive it. Not that the police condone car theft, they hasten to add, it's just that the problem with stolen foreign cars was getting out of hand. And it wasn't fair to penalize Russians because Westerners are too rich or too lazy to hang on to their cars."To be honest with you, we have more important things than just to babysit cars belonging to Westerners," said a traffic police lieutenant on duty on a major road, who didn't want to give his name. "I believe that the Westerners are rich enough to afford a new car if the old one is stolen," he added.